Why I Threw Out New Year’s Resolutions and What I Do Instead

I love the New Year. 

There’s something about having a whole new season, a whole new 365 days to do things differently… 

But I’m just gonna come right out and tell you this: 

New Year’s resolutions are bullshit.

You know it. I know it, which is why I threw them out a long time ago. 

We set these massive resolutions without making the strategic changes we need to actually follow through. 

If you haven’t changed your mindset and you haven’t reverse engineered your goals, you’re going to quit the minute it gets hard. For most people, that’s within five or seven days. 

So if you’re reading this and you feel bombarded already in the first week of January…

If you’re not sure what goals to set or where you’re going…

Or you feel like you’re barely into the year everything’s already on fire…

I want you to take a deep breath. You’re not too late. You’re right on time. 

There’s so much noise that comes with goal setting in January. On TV, social media… everywhere you look there is someone telling you what to do, how to do it, and that you have to be doing it RIGHT NOW. 

Instead of feeling frantic because you’re behind, I want to walk you through a simple exercise that will help you set goals in a way that feels good to you…AND give you action steps to start taking this year. 

If you can’t do this exercise right now, make a promise to yourself that you’ll do it sometime this week. Put it on your calendar. Make it a priority, because when we get things down on paper, they become real. 

Okay, so how do you set goals? 

Decide on a word or phrase. 

What do you want this year to feel like? My word for last year was expansion. I wanted to expand my business, relationships, spiritual relationship, finances, health - all areas of my life. So when I was setting my goals for those areas, I always had that theme in mind. 

Take your word and break it down. 

I break my word down into the 5 areas I mentioned above: health, finances, career, spirituality, and relationships. 

Ask yourself what your goals are in all those areas: 

Where do you want to go this year, financially? 

What do you want your health to look like this year? 

What do you want your spiritual life to look like? 

What do you want your relationships to look like? 

What do you want your job to look like? 

Take your time, and put your goals on paper. Don’t rush this. Be intentional. 

Keep in mind, these are working goals. You can add onto these during the year. This is not your end-all, be-all list. This is just to get your brain thinking about where you’re going in 2024. 

Reverse engineer your goals. 

Come up with the small action steps to get to your larger goal. Small, simple changes over time create massive change. That’s why resolutions don’t work. People try to change everything at once with very little strategy. 

If you want to get healthier, what needs to happen to reach that goal? You might need a gym membership and a workout schedule. You might need an accountability partner. These are the small, simple things you want to start looking at when you're reverse engineering. 

When you start having an honest conversation with yourself, you’re going to find that there are things you need to let go of as well: habits, influences, relationships, thoughts - whatever they are. It’s not just about adding in the good. It’s about letting go of the things that are holding you back also. 

Here’s something I want you to keep in mind as you set goals: 

The finish line is moveable. 

People get very discouraged when they start setting time-specific goals and they don't meet that goal in the time period they've said. 

If you don’t hit that goal within 30 or 60 days, push it out, but keep the goal the same. You’re going to get there. You don’t need to force it, control it, or grab it by the throat so that it happens in the time period you want. 

So take a deep breath, get your journal, and start thinking about what you want this year to look like in those five categories. 

If you do this exercise and you start feeling confused or overwhelmed, get yourself in community. Someone in your network has the answers you need. Find a mentor or a coach. This is how you gain momentum. 

If you KNOW you need extra support in this area and you haven’t registered for the Powerhouse Lawyers Retreat, jump over to my website and join us! This community of badass women is exactly what you need to start your year off with a bang.

Here’s to crushing your coals in 2024, 

Erin