The Confidence Code for Women in Law: How to Stop Playing Small and Own Your Power

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get enough attention in the legal world—confidence.

Not credentials. Not billable hours. Not how many cases you’ve won.

Confidence.

I’ve seen powerhouse female lawyers—women who are incredibly capable, brilliant, and hardworking—still hesitate to speak up in meetings, advocate for themselves, or step fully into leadership roles.

Not because they aren’t qualified. But because somewhere along the way, they started believing they had to prove themselves even more before they were “allowed” to take up space.

🚨 Let me tell you something: You do not need one more accolade, one more year of experience, or one more external validation to fully own your power.

And the best part? Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build.

Why So Many Women in Law Struggle with Confidence (Even When They Shouldn’t)

If you’ve ever second-guessed yourself before speaking up, hesitated to negotiate your salary, or downplayed your own success, you’re not alone.

💡 Here’s why this happens:

1️⃣ Perfectionism Paralysis – Many of us were conditioned to believe we need to be 100% ready before we take action. So we over-prepare, overthink, and wait—while others (often less qualified) go for it.

2️⃣ The “Good Girl” Effect – We were raised to be polite, accommodating, and agreeable. Confidence? Assertiveness? That was often labeled as being too much.

3️⃣ The Double Standard – Studies show that confidence in men is perceived as leadership, while confidence in women is sometimes misinterpreted as arrogance. It’s no wonder so many women play small.

4️⃣ Lack of Representation – When leadership in law firms and corporate legal teams still skews male, it’s harder to see yourself in those positions and feel like you belong there.

🚨 But here’s the truth: The legal profession doesn’t change unless more powerhouse women start showing up and owning their space.

How Confidence Impacts Career & Leadership Trajectory

Confidence isn’t just a feeling—it’s a career accelerator.

Women who project confidence (even if they don’t feel it 100% of the time) are more likely to:

✅ Speak up in meetings and be recognized for their contributions.

 ✅ Advocate for promotions, leadership roles, and pay raises.

 ✅ Set and enforce boundaries that prevent burnout.

 ✅ Take bold opportunities rather than waiting for the "perfect moment."

The truth is, your work alone won’t always speak for itself. You have to own your voice, your value, and your vision—because confidence is often the difference between being seen as a leader and being overlooked.

3 Confidence Shifts That Will Change Everything

If you’re tired of holding back, here’s where to start:

🔥 1. Stop Waiting for Permission.

 No one is coming to tell you, “You’re ready.” If you want a seat at the table, pull up the damn chair.

🔥 2. Reframe “Failure” as Feedback.

 Men apply for jobs when they meet 60% of the qualifications. Women? We wait until we’re close to 100%. Instead of fearing failure, start viewing it as data—proof that you’re learning, evolving, and playing bigger.

🔥 3. Speak with Certainty.

 Drop the “I think” and “I just wanted to add…” from your emails. Stop apologizing for having an opinion. When you speak, do it with certainty—because your expertise deserves to be heard.

Ready to Step Fully Into Your Power?

Confidence isn’t about faking it until you make it—it’s about rewiring the way you see yourself so you stop second-guessing and start owning your career.

If this resonated with you, let’s talk.

I offer obligation-free connection calls for powerhouse women in law who are ready to step into the next level of their careers without shrinking, second-guessing, or settling.

Because the truth is—you don’t need more experience. You need to start seeing yourself the way the world already should.

Cheering you on, 

Erin