Why You're Not Getting Referred (Even Though You Should Be)
You’ve done everything “right.” Built a reputation. Clients like you. Your work is airtight.
But when it comes to referrals? It feels… flat. Sporadic. Like something you can’t quite control.
Meanwhile, you’re watching others—sometimes with half your experience—become the go-to names in your space.
Let’s break down the truth: Being brilliant isn’t enough to stand out. And it’s definitely not enough to consistently get referred.
The Silent Struggle of the Smartest Women in the Room
Here’s what I’ve seen time and time again in the powerhouse women I coach:
They’re crushing it behind the scenes. Holding it down at work, at home, in every role they play. But they’re exhausted from proving themselves, and still feel invisible.
And here's the kicker:
When they do show up to networking events or industry panels, they shrink. They minimize their impact. They doubt their voice. And they tell themselves, “I don’t want to be salesy.”
But let me ask you this: Is it salesy to own your brilliance? Is it pushy to make it easy for people to send you work?
Or is it smart, strategic, and exactly what you deserve?
Why You're Not Getting Referred (Even Though You Should Be)
Let’s get honest about the three reasons high-achieving women in law stay under-referred—and what to do instead.
1. You’re Not Fully Owning Your Power
I’m not talking about your résumé. I’m talking about the way you show up.
The energy you bring into a room. The conviction behind your voice. The unapologetic clarity about your expertise.
So many powerhouse women dim themselves down—even when they don’t realize it. They lead with “I’m just…” or “I don’t usually talk about myself, but…”
But here’s the truth:
You can't get referred if people don’t understand what makes you different.
When you own your value, you make it easier for others to do the same.
You don’t need to shout. But you do need to show up. With confidence. With clarity. With energy that says, I’m the one.
2. Your “Referral Brand” Is MIA
Let me introduce a concept I teach called the Powerhouse Positioning Triangle. It’s what turns smart lawyers into magnetic brands that people want to refer:
🔺 Clarity: Can people explain who you help and what you’re known for?
If not, they won’t refer you—they’ll forget you.
🔺 Credibility: Are you consistently showcasing your expertise where it matters?
That means sharing results, speaking with conviction, and being visible where your ideal clients are looking.
🔺 Connection: Are you building trust by being relatable, approachable, and real?
People refer people they like and believe in. If you're all legalese and no heart, you're forgettable.
When you align all three, you become unforgettable.
And when you don’t? You’re just another brilliant woman in law… that no one quite remembers.
3. You’ve Made It Hard to Refer You
Let’s call it out: most lawyers assume their work speaks for itself.
But in today’s world? Work doesn’t speak. People do.
If you’re not intentionally nurturing your network, staying top of mind, and being clear about the kind of work you want—you’re making it hard to help you.
The fix? You don’t need a huge platform or a marketing degree. You need a visibility strategy that feels aligned with how you want to show up.
Ask yourself:
- Am I regularly reminding people what I do and who I help?
- Am I showing up in spaces (virtual or in-person) where the right people can find me?
- Am I creating easy pathways for people to refer me?
Referrals aren’t random. They’re the result of consistent clarity, value, and visibility.
The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
If you take nothing else from this, take this:
Referrals don’t come from playing it safe. They come from showing up powerfully.
That means ditching the need to be perfect. That means letting go of the fear of judgment. That means owning the fact that you are ready now—not “when you finally feel ready.”
You don’t need to prove more. You need to position better.
And that’s exactly what we’re teaching in my upcoming free webinar:
🎯 Stand Out. Get Noticed. Get More Referrals.
If you’re ready to stop playing small and become the lawyer people refer without hesitation, this is for you.
We’ll walk you through:
✅ The #1 mindset shift to stand out with confidence
✅ How to create your personal referral brand
✅ Visibility strategies that actually work (without the burnout)
✅ Real, actionable steps you can use right away
You don’t need another course or marketing gimmick. You need to own your power, position your value, and show up with intention.
📅 Grab your spot here: https://www.eringerner.com/may-2025-masterclass
Because here’s what I believe with my whole heart:
✨ You are your greatest investment. ✨ You’re not here to blend in—you’re here to lead. ✨ And once you stop playing small? You become unforgettable.
About the Author: Erin Gerner is a lawyer turned coach, entrepreneur, and host of the Powerhouse Lawyers podcast. She helps female lawyers step into their power, break through limiting beliefs, and build lives they can’t wait to wake up for. Learn more about her coaching programs and schedule an obligation free strategy call, connect with her here.
