3 Tips for Loving Yourself and Your Mom Life
It’s easy to lose yourself in motherhood.
My friend Nikki Oden, learned that firsthand when she walked away from a lucrative career as a commercial litigator to become a stay-at-home mom.
She loved being a mom, but quickly realized she needed something more, so she started a home-based business. She found herself in full-on survival mode trying to balance what she wanted as an ambitious woman with who she wanted to be as a mom.
But through a lot of what she calls “trial and improvement,” Nikki learned how to harmonize the two.
Now, she's all about teaching working moms how to own their days and crush their goals - without mom guilt.
So if you’ve ever felt like…
You’re carrying the world on your shoulders without much help
You can’t take any time for yourself when your kids need you
You should have things more figured out than you do
You can’t strike a balance between all the things pulling on you at once
Grab a cup of coffee and pull up a comfy chair, because we’re going to dive into Nikki’s top 3 tips for loving your mom life.
Here they are:
Know when to be a perfectionist (and when not to).
Perfectionism is not who you are. It’s a skill you can deploy when you need it.
There are actually moments when perfectionism is a great thing, like when you want someone to handwrite your wedding invitations or perform brain surgery on your child…
Where we get into trouble is when it runs on automatic, and we allow it to rob us of small wins and joyful moments.
When it comes to going after a big goal or motherhood, there is no such thing as perfect. There will be mistakes along the way. Perfectionism steals our ability to see those mistakes as gifts, but that’s exactly what they are! They’re information you didn’t have before.
Having that mindset shift is key to using perfectionism so that it serves you. Otherwise, it’s this heavy weight that’s keeping you from reaching your full potential, trying new things, and realizing that sometimes “done” is better than perfect.
Fight overwhelm with brain dumps.
The most practical way to get off the “Hot Mess Express” is to do a brain dump every week. It sounds so silly and easy that people think, “That can’t possibly work.” But it does!
Once a week or when you feel overwhelmed, sit down, and write down everything on your mind. It doesn’t matter what area of life it pertains to. You are a multifaceted human. You’re not just a mom or a business owner. You have different areas of life pulling at you at different times, so write it all down: workouts you want to do, birthday cards you need to write, books you want to read, courses you need to take… everything!
Get it all captured in one place so it’s much less likely to slip through the cracks. Then you can ask yourself:
What do I really need to do?
What can I delegate or get someone to help me with?
What can I eliminate altogether because it’s not actually that important?
Things feel overwhelming when they’re swirling around in your brain, but once you get everything out, you’ll realize you’ve totally got this.
Make time for self-care.
“Are you taking some time for yourself?” A lot of women snap back at this question with, “Easy for you to say! I don’t have time!”
But here’s the thing: You do have time.
Even if it’s only 5 minutes, you have 5 minutes. Wake up 5 minutes earlier if you need to. Your emotional wellbeing is worth it.
As you start to practice this each day, you’ll start to realize:
A.) You have way more than 5 minutes
B.) How important this time is
Taking that time for yourself sets you up for all your encounters after that - especially the ones with your kids. You have more of a reservoir to draw from when you need patience, energy, and strength.
To hear the full conversation with Nikki, check out my latest podcast: Crush Your Mom Guilt and Beat Overwhelm with Nikki Oden
Enjoying your mom life doesn’t mean you have to make a sweeping, massive change.
Start with having compassion for yourself next time you make a mistake, doing a short brain dump when you feel overwhelmed, or spending 5 minutes breathing in the car each day.
These small changes build over time, and create the lasting transformation you want to see.
Cheering you on, my powerhouse friend.